This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sorry about my life...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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