from now on my penis is your penis
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How external is "for external use only"?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
