Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
