You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
