I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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