My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
