She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
