Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
