That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
