hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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