I need to stop coming to work sober
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
