hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
