Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
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