But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm too high and old for this...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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