woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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