Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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