I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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