I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
