We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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