Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
