Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's blow job season.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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