dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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