tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
