Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
