We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
