remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
