ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
