Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
