Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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