Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
