I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
