based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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