Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
