she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
