Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
