..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
