Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
