do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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