I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
