i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
