that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
