i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The uberlube is also flammable
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
