Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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