just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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