It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have aggressive nipples.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
