What a fucking waste of an outfit
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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