I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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