ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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