dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
