I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
