you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
